Fate & Destiny

Assalamualaikum.

Life has taught her so many things that no one could show her, no books could teach her. She's been living in this earth for 19 years, but the only year she had her true learning and meaning of life, is when she has turned herself to 19 this year. She's a girl who don't stay still to her stand, who has the lowest self esteem, who believes life is never on her side, who betrays her friend for someone she loves, who has nothing in life that she could be proud of, who tries so hard, but don't succeed, and believes her golden years are disappearing from time to time.

She used to be the happiest girl in this world, stayed with her girls everywhere for 24/7, never believed in boys and love, never had a special boy, and put her studies matter top in her priority. No, she don't say that she don't put her studies matter top in her priority anymore, she still put it there. Tho she never had any special boys in her life, she still had her best-est times in her life with ze girls she loved.

As times passed, she learnt the true meaning of life. She knows that no one can stand by her side forever, everybody she knows will leave her one by one. She also learnt that no body can stay to their promises. At least, one promise will be broken. To her, life is not that easy. If life is as easy as ABC, no one in this world will ever get hurt, everyone would be so happy with their lives.

Despite of having all those feelings and believings, she still has very strong faith in Allah. She knows that Allah has set the best-est things for her and never failed in His planning. She knows it, she knows. But somehow, she's just failed. She fall, she cries, she blames her life, she realizes, she prays, and she gets up from her falling, alone.

This is a story of her. If we find ourselves hard, there are more people who have their hard lives too. So, we should be grateful of what we're having now. But, her story might not be as hard as other people who suffer to live. This is just apart of her life that I wanted to share.

Although she was so happy with her girls, she got so much more happy when she declared herself as someone's. She never thought that she would be in love with him, and never crossed her mind to have her first love when she knows nothing 'bout love and boys. She just followed the flow, and however managed to have her beautiful days and nights with the boy. They studied together, gave inspiration to each other, texted/called 24/7, shared their happiness and problems, never missed to say "I love you" to each other everyday, and they did so much more things like what other couples used to do. She swear to God that she never had her beautiful life like she had when she was with him, as that was her first love. Mark that, her first love.

Like others relationship, they also had some problems. However, they managed to get thru them and lived their lives back to normal. But as time goes by, they started to feel that they no longer have the chemistry to stay together. But however, they still waited for each other to go online, chatted as usual, asked whether she/he okay or not, and their lives go on as usual. But one thing the girl realized was that, they no longer say the magic words. No more "I love you" (or atleast I miss you) whenever they ended their chat. To be true, the girl is actually waited for the boy to say it, but she didn't receive it, even after they have ended their relationship. If the boy says she still love her, the girl would definitely reply the same thing to him.

Whenever they're having their bad times, the girl always calmed herself and said that, "If we can managed having three years together, in bad or in good, in sick or in health, why can't we stay for many years ahead together?", that's what she's been asking to herself.

Thing is, they tried, but they failed. That's all. The girl knows that their love is never can be compared to other's love story which is much more complicated and sad, but the girl feel so down to have her love to end up, when she finally gave all her heart to the boy.

Guys, isn't it sad? =/ Okay, that's all about the girl. To the girl who has their broken heart, please be strong and look at the bright side of it. May you have a good life. Aaamiinnnn.

p/s: The girl in the story I wrote about isn't me. I'm still with Adli okay. I love you Adli. Thanks for being there for me, even tho we are very far apart. Hugs and kisses :*

With Love, 

Nina

Times

Assalamualaikum.

So here in Twitter, they got this #ToBeHonest trend: 

And I tweeted this:

I'm not saying that I'm not happy with the life I'm having now, no, not. I am perfectly happy in this relationship status with him, but I just missed how I felt in 4-6 years back then. I used to be in group when I was in secondary school, and the group is known as 'group anti lelaki'. The title wasn't being created by us, but we were being labelled as it, huhu. If it's only the title we were being labelled and we didn't really show it, then it's okay, but the time we knew 'bout it, we kinda act it and show it even often. Haha, old times with that kind of minded =P

As a group of not really into boys and couple, none of us at that time were in a relationship status. What we did in school was just mind our own business, laugh as loud as we can and lived lives to the fullest. Tho we were being hated by our attitude, but we were all happy with ourselves. I remember, many bad things had happened to us along those years. There was time, when Syaz was almost being spitted by a boy. She was standing only 0.000001 mm closed to the boy's spitting spot! He knew Syaz was standing there, but he purposely did it. Life old days, -.- I also remember, time when Dery was walking to the class, then this boy from upstairs, purposely threw an ice towards her, thus hit her private area. Nice aim, huh? -.- And there was also time, when Kakty lost her diary and somehow we knew that the diary was taken by a boy, named Ashraf Sinclair (not a real name, for sure). We settled the matter inside our class. The climax was when we stepped out of the class, the whole batch of boys stood a crowd near the stairs, waited for things to settle, and we ain't had no choice, but to pass thru them. And at the time we were passing thru them, they made this kind of noise 'Ewwhhh pewwmmpuan ni akuww cepuwwkk kaangggg', and some threw a disgust look to us. See, how strong the bonds they had? To be honest, I was a bit scared, but I acted like I'm not. Haha, am cool, no? =P

As time passed, we were no longer feel fear towards the boys. We stand as a strong group of girl, and were brave enough to go against 'em. There was this time when we had a mouth fight with 'em. It was when we were in Form 3. We lost a photo of us, and somehow we found out that the photo was being taken by this boy, named Farid Kamil (not a real name). At first the conversation went smooth, but when the story got complicated, we got irritated and now, the war began, haha. There was also this time, when we were brave enough to fight back when they shouted and insulted us of being too noisy. 

These are exactly how I lived when I was single. I didn't have any special boy friends, I seldom talked with boys, I had bad relationship with 'em, and I didn't know how to mix with 'em. All I know was busy having sisters' bond with my girls and I'm totally happy with them. I just missed the old times I had with my friends and the feeling I got when I was single. See, Kakty also missed it =O

Somehow it's true =/ 

Adli, if you read this, please don't get offended. I'm just kind of missing it, not regretting it. I love yo-yo-yo-youuuuu! ♥ ♥ ♥

With love, 

Nina

My Wishes

Assalamualaikum.

Friday is 11.11.11, and I usually don't believe in making wishes. However, tomorrow's date only happens once every one hundred years, so I wouldn't want it to be wasted. That day I'm going to be with someone who came into my life as a friend and now my very special man. I'm going to wait for him and laugh at our silly jokes together. I'm going to have the feelings I have when we are both happy with each other. I'm going to have a long talk with him and share with him whatever things I have. I'm going to tease him like I used to do when he's here with me, in Malaysia. And lastly, I'm going to convince him that this relationship is worth it. I pray that everything will be back to normal, please =(

He, who is there for me when I was at my worst, and who always knew how to make me smile, and never failed doing it. I've never been luckier than I am now, and it's all thanks to him. 

I hope my wishes wouldn't just remain wishes. Like I said, I don't really believe in making wishes cuz wishes require a lot of luck and unfortunately, I seldom have that. I know, my life is so sad =( 

With Love, 

Nina