Fate & Destiny

Assalamualaikum.

Life has taught her so many things that no one could show her, no books could teach her. She's been living in this earth for 19 years, but the only year she had her true learning and meaning of life, is when she has turned herself to 19 this year. She's a girl who don't stay still to her stand, who has the lowest self esteem, who believes life is never on her side, who betrays her friend for someone she loves, who has nothing in life that she could be proud of, who tries so hard, but don't succeed, and believes her golden years are disappearing from time to time.

She used to be the happiest girl in this world, stayed with her girls everywhere for 24/7, never believed in boys and love, never had a special boy, and put her studies matter top in her priority. No, she don't say that she don't put her studies matter top in her priority anymore, she still put it there. Tho she never had any special boys in her life, she still had her best-est times in her life with ze girls she loved.

As times passed, she learnt the true meaning of life. She knows that no one can stand by her side forever, everybody she knows will leave her one by one. She also learnt that no body can stay to their promises. At least, one promise will be broken. To her, life is not that easy. If life is as easy as ABC, no one in this world will ever get hurt, everyone would be so happy with their lives.

Despite of having all those feelings and believings, she still has very strong faith in Allah. She knows that Allah has set the best-est things for her and never failed in His planning. She knows it, she knows. But somehow, she's just failed. She fall, she cries, she blames her life, she realizes, she prays, and she gets up from her falling, alone.

This is a story of her. If we find ourselves hard, there are more people who have their hard lives too. So, we should be grateful of what we're having now. But, her story might not be as hard as other people who suffer to live. This is just apart of her life that I wanted to share.

Although she was so happy with her girls, she got so much more happy when she declared herself as someone's. She never thought that she would be in love with him, and never crossed her mind to have her first love when she knows nothing 'bout love and boys. She just followed the flow, and however managed to have her beautiful days and nights with the boy. They studied together, gave inspiration to each other, texted/called 24/7, shared their happiness and problems, never missed to say "I love you" to each other everyday, and they did so much more things like what other couples used to do. She swear to God that she never had her beautiful life like she had when she was with him, as that was her first love. Mark that, her first love.

Like others relationship, they also had some problems. However, they managed to get thru them and lived their lives back to normal. But as time goes by, they started to feel that they no longer have the chemistry to stay together. But however, they still waited for each other to go online, chatted as usual, asked whether she/he okay or not, and their lives go on as usual. But one thing the girl realized was that, they no longer say the magic words. No more "I love you" (or atleast I miss you) whenever they ended their chat. To be true, the girl is actually waited for the boy to say it, but she didn't receive it, even after they have ended their relationship. If the boy says she still love her, the girl would definitely reply the same thing to him.

Whenever they're having their bad times, the girl always calmed herself and said that, "If we can managed having three years together, in bad or in good, in sick or in health, why can't we stay for many years ahead together?", that's what she's been asking to herself.

Thing is, they tried, but they failed. That's all. The girl knows that their love is never can be compared to other's love story which is much more complicated and sad, but the girl feel so down to have her love to end up, when she finally gave all her heart to the boy.

Guys, isn't it sad? =/ Okay, that's all about the girl. To the girl who has their broken heart, please be strong and look at the bright side of it. May you have a good life. Aaamiinnnn.

p/s: The girl in the story I wrote about isn't me. I'm still with Adli okay. I love you Adli. Thanks for being there for me, even tho we are very far apart. Hugs and kisses :*

With Love, 

Nina